Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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