i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
