We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
