this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
