dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
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