I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
porn star boner night. come get it.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Randomize
