she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
