Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
