youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
