i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Randomize
