my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
