Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
