holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
