Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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