First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
