I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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