So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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