There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
