Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
i love accidental penises.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize
