at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
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