i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
