I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
