I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
