All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
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