don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
