no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
I've blown a few things in my day
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
