And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
