I only kidnapped one of them. chill
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
