WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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