I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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