She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
