garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
