Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
