i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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