I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
