i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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