How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
