He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
