Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
