You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
