we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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