there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
