I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
no, he came in my armpit
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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