we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
