There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
