Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
