in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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