when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
