Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
