just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
